Sigh

The fact that it's midnight now just means that there are 3 more days to SYF.

This morning was spent at sectionals in school. I find it disappointing I wasn't able to help make much of a difference to the current state. I was able to vent some of my frustration built up from last night. But I only managed to work out a few sections of music today. Gah.. I don't even know if that was productive. It might still sound the same on Monday. I wish I could just issue a state of emergency on Strings. Juniors are getting worried about my mental health and I am sorry about that, but I just find it very worrying, listening to the nearly the same things being played over and over again. Whenever I finished practice this week, I couldn't even speak to my parents properly. I feel guilty they had to be the ones I vented some of my frustration on.

Went for lunch with grandparents after that. The rest of the day helped to divert some of my attention away from strings. I didn't feel like eating much and was full after a few mouthfuls. But still got forced to eat. Then PlayMax group leader training. Then went out for chimes dinner at Suntec. Hungry but didn't feel like eating again. My mind kept wandering off to cca like every 3 mins the whole day.

Sigh.. The feeling like your're tired but can't sleep; Hungry but can't eat etc etc. It can just kill me sooner or later.

Ck I really wish you wouldn't give up yet. Just disappoints me to see someone I look up to giving up before I do.